Kiss
Puke
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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