i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
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