Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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