just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
