At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize