That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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