haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
