I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
