I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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