Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
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