Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
