East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
