i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize
