My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
