Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
