my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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