So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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