he thought i was a dude.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
