Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
