i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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