There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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