I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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