I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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