His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
