It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
