I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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