Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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