We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
