im drinking this country out of the recession.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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