So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
do herpes really smell.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
