By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
