u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
