I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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