This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
