i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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