I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
