Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
