Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
