I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
