Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize