forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
