Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
