Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
