I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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