So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
