worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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