Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
