She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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