why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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