508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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