Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize