I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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