y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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