no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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