So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
How external is "for external use only"?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
