Can i not drive my cunt home
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
