He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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