when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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