I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize