"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
