He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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