i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
