I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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