Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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