just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize