Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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