it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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